Peace Peace Y’all and We don’t stop. I hope that everyone is having a great Thursday afternoon. I would like to discuss ‘Toxic Positivity’, a new term that some are using nowadays. People claim that saying things like “Good Vibes Only” and “See The Brighter Side (Of the Terrible to get through it)” are nauseating. They say it isn’t holding space for them to express themselves; to you or whomever they believe will push them into the season of ‘feeling better’. They say that phrases like “All is Love” is a wall filled with fear and avoidance terms used to invalidate their situation. It is my strong opinion that in their next breath these people will tell you they are individuals, and independent thinkers. I digress, frankly speaking they say that “these people” who have an “addiction to positive thinking’ are obsessively bypassing conflict.
So I challenge this with first asking a member of the “I just need someone to understand me” tribe, who doesn’t feel the same hurt and frustration that comes with Life as they do? Who doesn’t want to be understood and have a easy time relating to people on a day to day basis? Where are these perfect people?
Secondly, I’d make a statement saying that people who oppose “Good Vibes Only” are people who don’t want the truth. The truth is actually what has brought them to the “Need” for social interaction to cope with problems. They are truly asking for the five star toddler treatment that they are unwilling and incapable of giving anyone else. Simply because, they are not in the position to do so, they are only in the position to take, and they want that recognized without coming clean or showing signs of constant, unwavering change of mind and heart. They would rather mirror the phrase that every cigarette smoker can relate to, “I’ll quit after this, because I need one right now”.
The truth is, everyone on this planet is going through exactly what your going through, and if we all decided to throw only you a pity party and give you hugs, money and snacks, you would be offended. You would see people as being insensitive, stifling your growth, belittling you, and “Just agreeing with you and holding you back”, but that is exactly what you want. There are thousands of therapist who are in need of a therapist. Mainly because they went through loads of schooling just to be paid high numbers to have people unload their problems and problematic energy on them; while said therapist enables them to do so. They are enablers because they are trained to make this happen and well paid.
Now let’s talk about these family members, and friends that you are calling “Toxic Positivity” because they too have no one to talk to except people who also need someone to talk to. There is a phrase called “Toxic bullshit”, and that means lacking awareness to recognize the humanness in the humans around you. We are either choosing to dump our problems on other people or constantly growing and doing our best to deal with our own shit to not become a burden. Some instead go to The Creator to understand our own lesson plan because no one will ever truly understand our own hurt. Forgive them, for they do not have the answers that can only be found within you. I read an article about ‘Toxic Positivity’ that I will not share because I will not let it take your energy on my watch. I decided to turn it into abundance and share this with you instead.
In the article they gave advice for dealing with Toxic Positivity, here is the catnip that is actually helping them handle their bullshit on their own without even realizing it; sugar in their vegetables. 1. Find Someone who will hold space for you and listen, and not dismiss you with toxic positivity disguised as fear 2. It’s okay to be angry, jealous, and sad; make a Cup of Tea to Relax
Let’s discuss point 1, find someone who will allow you space to cry all over them, relate to your sadness, and tell you that it’s going to be okay assuming they aren’t going through anything because those people exist. Don’t find anyone who has a healthy understanding about energy transferring and creates boundaries. This absolutely supports the reason why most of us refuse to go within and sit with ourselves and figure out what our problems are and why we have these encounters. If you keep running to other people you will forever be running from yourself and truly unfit to have genuine interaction.
This reminds me of the people that use phrases like “I can’t believe they act like they don’t care”. I always believe they first do not care about themselves. To care for yourself is to see the needs and wants of others. If I know that I want to be treated with care, then I will automatically not bring anyone my bullshit because that is not treating you like I want to be treated, and I know that if someone treated me like that I would want to leave. See, before you are harmed by another person, you were comfortable putting ourselves there, but why? These are the hard questions that we would have to ask during times of “I just need someone to talk to” in order to have a equal exchange of energy. You can not allow people to dump on you without giving them access to the Love of the Most High Creator. The Most High did not make us Liars, and People who hold back the truth when the truth will disturb nothing but their feelings and still come with a warm hug. This is called rearing, this is what our parents were suppose to do. However, they are human. They are not perfect, and they deserve our respect because they still hung in there while not knowing the answers. Even if they only hung in there for 9 months, that was all the time we needed.
All Praise To The Most High. We have to stop seeing each other as perfect when it is convenient.
With Love, Hrsh Reyalitee
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